by David Boles
February 4, 1998
Today in Brussels, Microsoft's middle-aged wonder, Bill Gates, was ambushed while entering a building and was blind-sided with a cream pie. The pie was viciously thrown with force and malice and its intent was obviously not to inspire laughs, but to wound. When you watch the video of it happening in real time, you can see Bill didn't know what hit him -- I'm certain he wondered if he had been smashed in the head with something more deadly than a cream pie. You can see he's frozen scared after the pie slams into his face, full on. You can't help but feel for the guy. Two others then tossed pies at Bill to finish off the humiliation.
Band of Jerks
I guess a gang
of jerks in Brussels find pleasure in tossing pies in the faces of important visitors.
There were five of them with pies waiting for Bill to arrive today and three scored
hits. While some may find the incident funny, I find it troubling and sad and yet
another harbinger that the world is going to Hell in a pie tin. What if that cream
pie had been a bullet?
Becoming Human
I think that more than anything, Bill's feelings were hurt and, in some small way, I find
that rather touching, because so many folks think he's robotic and unfeeling. Today
in Belgium, Bill Gates became fully human in the most horrible way... on TV with the CNN
anchors laughing at him. Bill was embarrassed and I couldn't help seeing in him the
wounded face of the last kid picked for the baseball team. He was too vulnerable in
that moment of confusion and I was uncomfortable watching him try to smooth the goop from
his glasses afterwards.
The Moment After
There's more video of Bill after the incident with wet hair and as he tries to
pretend nothing happened, and it's obvious he would rather burst into tears than soldier
on. If Bill had it in him, he should've licked off a fingerful, swallowed the creamy
delight and laughed. But Bill's pride was too hurt to think that fast.
Conclusion
What happened today is inexcusable and should've been predicted, planned for, and
prevented. When Bill was first hit, no one ran to him, grabbed him and plunged him
into the building. Nobody in his entourage tried to shield him from further attack
and that gave the other two jerks their opportunity to strike!
Bill Gates should have an armored car, machine gun guards and the whole dark shades security detail wherever he goes because he's too valuable and too attractive a target for ransom or terrorism whether he's home or abroad -- and it is in Microsoft's best interest to protect their most valuable asset even if it goes against Bill's humble wishes to remain unfettered and human.
Copyright © 1998 by David Boles
"Go Inside" is a David Boles Trademark