Elephant Stew

2 cups salt

2 cups pepper

1. Cut elephant into 1 inch pieces (allow approximately 75 days for this procedure). Frequently add pinches of salt and pepper. Cook over kerosene fire about 4 weeks at 465 degrees.

1. If more than 3,800 guests are expected for dinner, 2 rabbits may be added (optional). But do so only if necessary, as most people do not like to find “hare” in their stew.